hectic

i was very bz and hectic through out the whole week. the budgeted that i submitted on 23rd jan got some amendments to do as instructed by boss. on the first meeting we got bang by him very bad until like evry questions we can't answer. and by the way, before we finish our answer he already came out with another question. haisshh!! the last meeting we haad he is in good mood and he is okay with it. cuma a bit bengang bile he marah ckp apsl income for year 2009 only rm3.6mil. tak make sense. so sharon ckp la. that is what u want. previously we had rm3.8mil tapi u suruh reduce then he diam n ohhh ok takpe takpe. get back to rm3.8mil. pastu yang lain2 tu settle. we all prepared ourselves with all the questions takut kena bang lagi. n the meeting took like bout 45 min. pastu balik rest kejap before i proceed with the group's system. and finally before 6.45pm managed to send the finalisation version to the asst mgr.

yesterday i was on leave. supposedly cuti sebab nak pegi tgk konsert rihanna tapi konsert tu kan postponed. sebab she gaduh with her bf. pastu ingat nak retract cuti balik. tapi takyah la. juz cuti. rest myself. tapi semalam tak rest sgt pun. i was damn tensed. bout the wedding loan la. dh tanye banyak bank n diorang mostly ckp max 5 or 6 times from ur basic salary. i can't get from bank rakyat. i dont have a potongan gaji. hhmm... pening la. pastu came by faiz's office. cried. if i were thinking to lepaskan myself, maybe dh lepas tapi i wanted to help faiz as well. kesian die. i know that he wants to get married when he is 30 years old. so, when he is getting married now, i juz rasa i am so sorry and guilty sbb his plans have been changed. but he alwiz said no la. tu kan jodoh. Tuhan dah set macam tu. sometimes i juz can't help it feeling that way. macam2 la dalam my head currently. ape yg bengong lagi, (i shouldn't think like this).. maybe he is destined to be with somebody else. might be his true love. i am not. aarrgghh!!.ape ni. it's not good ok. sorry..

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! i shouldn't think like that. i should be happy. i am getting married soon. with the man that i always want to be with which my heart also says so. do i love him? if i say no, i am lying to myself. yeahh.. i do love him. infact very much. insya-Allah there'll be a way. for us to solve the $$ problem.