badminton

phew! 2 weeks of exercising via badminton makes me feel that i have to be at my top stamina. meaning i have to keep fit. i wasnt totally focus with the balls. guess so training is much needed. y ar? how do sports previously. i need focus. yeah the answer is simple. as i am gettin older, i dont sports ie not sweats. reducing my focusing. even in school, i were involved in cheerleading. it needs focus in order to be synchronised with ur team mates and also the melody. timing is very important. hmm.. maybe will heavily involved in badminton for own stamina. but today, hands wasnt that bad. still in pain but a lot lesser compared to last week. i already had my lunch via kitchen corner. ahaks. ;) rice with ikan bakar. kenyang babe. alhamdulillah.

belongings

wat will u feel if the belongings u thought r fully urs, doesnt belongs to u at all, shared with somebody else or u thought is urs but actually is not. meaning u sorang2 perasan it is urs.

smiley

i'm in love!

alamak dh tggl 69 days

omigod. tggl lg brape hari je. bnyk benda tak finalized lagi ni. i terasa takut k. card alhamdulillah the cost is rm900 for a thousand cards. lower than my budget. btw, hari ni i mean kejap lagi nak pegi tempah kain baju melayu bros n dad.

updates on mum. i will cry when it involves mum. my fiancee did his best to actually rise up my spirit and to control my emotion. finally i took mum to sjmc last thursday. giving her the medication which i think is the best cure for her. sis even did argued she doesnt like chemicals running in mum's blood. but do we have an option? i wonder. i dont think so. so i guess she has to depend on the medication till end of her life. similar to those with diabetics or high blood pressure of even that involving heart. you have to take medication so ur level of sugar for example will be at the safe level. hopefully mum will be recoverable fully bcoz i pity of her had to live on her old life being sick. i want her to be happy. enjoying moments of her final years of life or better words golden age. not just mum, dad as well. praying to God for his blessings and to forgive all of our sins.

u know these few days my fiancee being so hectic at work. from morning til night. even after ofis hours, he will be doing his business. i told him that n he said that what can he do. he is looking for money to survive. plus he is getting married. plus it is also for me. yes i understand that tapi sometimes i ade rasa i just want a little time from him. nowadays, malam we bearly talk on the phone coz we were bz in the days plus we are tired. even if we had the opprtunity, we were found sleeping by the phone in the next morning. takpela. i sabar je la. by the way, i am getting married to him in 69 days time. if i were to think, it is like so short. minus those weeks that we have to work even during weekend. we were like left with hmmm..how many days. 20? yeah..it's true wat people say. u will get happiness after some sacrification. maybe just for a little while.

oklah..there's no need to cry or being sad. ur big day is coming girl. and yeah i have confirmed that my bridesmaid will be my schoolmate. thanx a lot. will be meeting her soon to pass her the sample color of the kain. well, gtg now. i want to go clean up myself especially my index finger. coz it was tersepit with penjemur kain. sian i eh. luke tau. tadi mum dh jampi. oww! hehehe..

27.05.2009

HAPPY 9TH ANNIVERSARY!

today is the date that we are officially coupled. the above number says it all. 9. means 9 years of living with this guy named Muhamad Faiz Marican Bin Mubarak. from the thoughts of just befriended with him for fun until the time has come for us to end the coupling time with the most powerful bond that is called MARRIAGE! i am so grateful and bersyukur and of course happy being with him. "terima kasih cinta"

sayang, if u r reading my blog now, would like to wish Happy Anniversary to you. May God bless both of us. semoga majlis perkahwinan kite berjalan dengan selamat. semoga perkahwinan kite berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat. semoga kite dikurniakan zuriat yang soleh dan solehah. semoga umur kite dipanjangkan. there are a lot of things to be done and share after marriage. it is not just sex. it involves everything meaning money, time and the most thing LIFE. please guide me to become a wife yang diredhai Allah SWT, a mother that is helpful to her kids and also a lovable and respectful partner to u dear. i love u very much. my love to u for sure is a lot more everyday and everyday. yang, sometimes when people asked, why do u want to get married with this guy? i have no specific reason. but i will definitely answer with a smile curved in my heart that is i love u so much. please do not stop loving me.

emoticons

wat i am feeling now..

=) + =( + =D + =< + =P = macam - macam ada !!

* updates *

1. tempah baju nikah

2. tempah baju family

3. cari kain pengapit

4. cari kompang/gamelan

5. call pakcik husin

6. testing door gift

7. confirmkan bunga telur pelamin

8. hantaran

uiisshh.. hari tu tgk cam dh sket. tapi ni mcm tambah balik je. aahhh....worried menyerang minda ku sekali lagi. Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, tabahkan la hati hamba-Mu ini supaya diriku tenang mengharungi hari2 yang mendatang. Insya-Allah.

leave serupa keje

yes indeed more tired than normal working hours. woke up pretty early if to compare having leave. at 7am. sent bobob to skool. balik tu kelam kabut surf web immigration as me n fiancee r going there t settle our passports. finally siap2. hubby fetched me around 9am. we dont even have time to breakfast as we know that dealing with numbers at govt offices, we need to be early. well.. we were quite surprised as there were so many ppl there when we reached. i wonder what time they have been waiting there. queueing to get the form, filling up, submitting and the longest part is to wait for our turn. i think almost 2 hours. our turn roughly around 12pm. then settled, then we have to wait for another 2 hours before collecting the docs. then, we all went out for lunch. pastu saat yang dinanti nantikan yang menervouskan aku ni.

HIV test. me and my fiancee alhamdulillah negative. i was so scared in the first place. ingat die nak amik satu pine darah tapi i silap la. just satu cucukkan kat end of jari then settle. tapi satu cucukkan pun sampai skrang sakit lagi jari aku. ade rasa sket annoying ni. isshh... pastu dah settle gi amik passport. alhamdulillah mostly sume planned jobs today settled. include byr asb, byr bil streamyx. then petang hubby dropped by house. mintak his favor to check out on mum. thanx a lot dear. hubby i ni phsyco thinking die tinggi tau. salute babe! so strongly emotionally controlled despite of macam2 happenings. and ptg tadi jgk i n mum gi cuci keta setelah almost sebulan tak cuci. ye la lps balik from CH hari tu. hehehe.. dh kotor tahap gaban ni. pastu bile dh cuci, was syoknye.. kilat2.. hehe..bersih dan sungguh nyaman. hubby tadi baru balik from SPA i tell u. nak gossip la ngan die kejap. oh ho.. time's running short. nak titon dh. nite nite!

~ family trip aka to CAMERON HGHLAND ~

finally, the post that i want to post since beginning of the month. the days have passed for bout 20 days which leave is with around 10 days b4 we begin our lives in the month of JUNE. i was surprised that dad told me we were going to CH 3 days earlier as i've planned to go for ring searching with my fiancee. i was excited. told bros bout it n they knew it before hand. told mum but mum was a bit reluctant coz she said, where got $$ to go for hols. letting the days passed til the day it arrives. i juz packed my bag that morning which was on 1st may 09. eventually it is a public holiday coz it is a labour day. yoohoo! otw, dad n mum bebel 'ing' bout how we acted towards their assets. as in y we dont care of the things they bought like car for example. it is because of the e-yot-e-yot sound. haiisshh! quite tension that morning. but went thru it. the day was quite hot la. then it was traffic jam towards perak. we stopped by at sumwhere in perak. wasnt sure what's the name of the place. we had lunch there. oh forgot to tell. another family to join is uncle kamal's and uncle daud's. what a long journey. i think i have never been on a long journey like this before. just making sure that my tummy are filled with food so i wont be vomitting on the way uphill. hehe..typical girl travelling making sure her tummy is not upset. alhamdulillah we reached our destination around 4pm. and we actually checked in to our apartment at 5pm. lepaking.. calling fiancee. he is having so much fun at waterfall. dunno when will i get the opportunity to go there. btw, back to my trip. after asar prayer, we went to town to eat as both dads are hungry. our place is called tanah rata. the road i tell u. belok2. i was soo pening. the weather is cold that i need to put on sweater. i got running nose for that few days. we had roti canai. it was tasty. then it was raining heavily. i did not buy anything on the first day. then, we had our dinner there before going back to apartment for a nite sleep after a long hot journey. i shared a room with my bros. we combined the 2 single beds and bobob sleeps in the middle. sejuk tau. if ade partner i, sure i blh kapuk die that nite. btw, i am missing him. dunno whether is he missing me or not. hmm...

next day woke up ard 8. had bfast. mum n makcik zai prepared sardine sandwich for us. kenyang b4 we went out for a proper kenyang meal. we jalan2 and this time we went further up. to brinchang. we then went to the strawberry farm. bought some tea boxes and also strawberries. we even shared strawberry ice-cream. so damn yummy. then we moved to our next stop for overnite. it is a rest house sumwhere in the middle of brinchang's town. pretty bz and chaos la. even got traffic jam. we had kfc for dinner. dads have gone for golfing. we all (the other 3 families) gi jalan2 at pasar malam. some souvenir shop. then makan balik. apam balik. dlm 6 back to hotel cleaned up then rest. tggu dad balik b4 go out for dinner together. whoosshh! chillingnye weather. syok pun syok. hehehe.. geram pun geram. that nite, the 5 of us shared the same room. combine bed then tido. syok tau. macam2 style. juz hoping that that nite neither bob or farid banged the dressing table. hehehe...

next day around 9am we make our move back to home. yaay! we had breakfast before leaving. we reached home around noon. then dad took off for golf [again *grin* hehehe] we all lepak umah order pizza for lunch n lepak at home. and so surprisingly, my running nose stops. guess so the weather that makes it that way coz ground is hotter than uphill. ape ape pun, alhamdulillah dah selamat sampai kat umah. btw, here are some photos taken there. enjoy the moments.

cannot trf

huhu.. been trying to transfer some lovely photos from my handphone but i cant get thru with it. asik error error. how? hmm.. tension kejap. ni i tgh tgk bersamamu kat tv3. kesian these people. i should be thankful for wat i have now. alhamdulillah.

waiting 4 burger

i am nw at a burger stall wif dearest fiancee.we were here 4 like half an hour ago.stil it is x ready.actually hubby got a badminton game at 830 but nw since it is 9pm already,i dunno wat time we'll reach subang. Btw,my tummy sudah berbunyi.guess so dh msuk zon lapar.huhu.. Tomoro's monday.means another working week.i bile pk psl keje boring je. I rs demotivated sgt. Tp i cannot b like that.i haf 2 face d world.juz holding 2 d quotes i had about a year ago. "life is too short.do not wake up feeling regrets.love those who treat u rite n 4get those who dont" well gotta go.my burger is here.thnx hubby.

e-o-e-o-e-o [siren sudah berbunyi]

the clock is ticking [tick-tick-tick-tick] today it is like 83 more days before my big day. well, well.. look wat i've got here to post. aarrhhh..suddenly i felt so damn nervous like there's a butterfly in my stomach. oohh..aahh.. how? felt like alamak time tak banyak lagi la. n banyak benda lagi ni.. uissh.. uissh.. this week alhamdulillah managed to control my emotion and i really love it. besides ofis politicking and hypocrites, i got better way of life besides work to think of. it's not losing anything if i dont befriended with those losers at ofis. guess they have worked too long in that place n that's y they cant think out of the box. penat je aku. arrhh..lantak ko.

btw, first n foremost, my loan has been approved. alhamdulillah. i need to check out the cash maybe today later. then i need to diskusi with my fiancee [dearest dear aka dd] on the reconciliation part that need to be done on the money. mak andam, we have paid more cash to her n left like rm5k. wow! quite an amount of money. then, card finally DAD says ok. so told my fiancee to proceed with it. i have confirmed the number of cards which is 500 pieces only. then, i need to do some searching on the pics based on the theme 'garden of heaven' hehehe... hhmm.. wat else? yah..hubby already confirmed the photographer at my house. covering all the events. then, sumwhere in june, we will see the guy to pay deposit n stories behind the event. i mean wat time, wat's the theme, colors, the susun atur cara n lots more. kain for pengapit blum beli lagi. tapi kain for family dah survey survey. maybe today we will confirm n buy the kain. plus this week nak siapkan forms. fuh! fuh! busy la gue. mmm.. lagi yang major haa... blum call pakcik husin tu lagi. nak confirm ngan die susun atur tu camne. pastu yang lain lain tu minor. eh wait ade lagi major. nak tempah kain for baju nikah ni. well, i think i just go with the simplest design that is 'baju kurung moden' well, ape lagi eh.. i think skang baru minor such as inai-spa-bunga telur. oohh ade lagi la. nak cat umah and nak kemas umah. itu tersangat la major. lemme recap things left to do.

1. call pakcik husin
2. forms
3. inai
4. spa
5. door gift
6. hantaran [sket lagi]
7. kemas umah [cat umah, buang2 yg mane patut, maintain umah]
8. tempah baju nikah
9. beli kain

MOST IMPORTANT THING --> HEALTHY, HAPPY

hubby posted long words aka letter to my mail

i was so touched. i know he is trying his best to comfort me eventhough he is not so capable to comfort me if to compared to my mum, but thanks for everything dear. i dunno y me or is it juz myself that sumtimes have the thought that he [my fiancee] doesn't care bout me, love me or even miss me. coz he is bz, bz, bz, bz, bz with work and matters but when if it is his friends he will on the spot entertaining them. hhmm... tak suke la feelings tu. menyemak je ok. tak suke tak suke tak suke.. hahaha..
mum stil at kampung.. having her time there. she seems to be enjoying herself there. gud for her. but as usual kesian my dad. tapi as wat hubby said, my future babies need more of existence physically and mentally. so i have to be strong and emotionally strong in order to sustain that. insya-Allah.
work-->bnyk benda nk kena settle. mmg tak ckup tangan. so kena pandai2 budget time.

~ happy mother's day ~

to my mother aka mama; siti rodziah bte nordin. i love u very much. i am damn very very much worried bout urself. i am still clueless even til now why is it that u r acting this way. behaviorial is not like ordinary people. i miss u very much. i miss those talks including laughs and wise words u gave when i shared with u my problems, my happiness and evrything in ur daughter's life. i'm sad when i look at abah, sleeping alone in front of the tv. i'm sure he misses his wife too. the wife to share his ups and downs through life and how i know he wants to share things when he is about to retire soon. mama, there's many things i've asked u in ur life, r u mad at anybody, r u thinking of anyone in the past. she seems to be cant let go of her past and that wat makes it worst. coz she is living now based on her past memories. everyday her stories are based on dulu-dulu, kisah dulu-dulu, macam mana that things happened.
as a girl going through marriage ceremony, there are a lot of things to be shared and asked from sumone to be name MOTHER. eventhough i can ask my future mother in law or my sis or my frens who are married, of course it wil not be the same as my MOTHER. but i should think positive. i should think that at least i stil have a mother. unlike some of other people who doesnt have a mother when they r getting married. who to refer to, who to ask, who to share with. come on girl, stop crying. tears wont change anything without action to be taken. what i can do now besides taking mum for medication is to pray to God for her well being n long live. insya-Allah. here i would like to take this opprtunity to wish my mum Happy Mother's Day!

pening

i pening + sakit kepala. i had my dinner already. rice with fish curry which nenek bungkuskan for us earlier. we went back to kampung coz nenek is having the kenduri plus birthdays for danial n qaisara. my cousin n lil auntie. hehehe.. =)

minggu ni deals with a lot of feelings and emotions. tot of sharing it later. now i juz tot of reading some books for my own pleasure. ok chiow!

pertaining to previous post

isshh..tak tau nak kata ape. this whole week was like a looooooong week for me. i started my monday with a happy mood coz i'm back from holidays, then it is dragged to end of the week. i mean til today friday. even my holidays i have no time to share it in my blog. now it is juz the sad sappy part of my life. btw, that's wat life is. at times u'll feel happy. at times u'll feel sad n sappy. at times u r angry. my mood was uneasy to sustain. after a mood-wash yesterday, i woke up today feeling refreshing but unfortunately, my mood is the other way round after one fon call from brother this afternoon. mum was not back yet since 7 in the morning. sumtimes rasa cam nak go crazee.
tadi dad juz got home. n u know wat..i told dad that mum seems to be okay when she took the hormone medication from general hospital but u know wat he said. it looks like the clinic is klinik sakit jiwa [psychiatrist] y our typical malay are like that ar? if we go to see psychiatrist means we are no longer in our sense. as in we are INSANE. CRAZY. ohh.. but wat i see is the positive side. fiancee was thinking of taking mum again to see the psychiatrist maybe at sjmc as i said it is nearer to home. cost that we have to bear. well, wanted to find out tomoro or monday wat is it about. u know i am soooo tensed bout that.
my job --> trying to take things easy at workplace. bcoz i am not going to work there for lifetime. but family yes and a big YES. of course more priority to them. i dah start sakit2 kepala n pening for these past few days. i think i am tensed. i am trying to care of my food consuming so i'll not be getting gastric. so nobody can get worried sick of me.
fiancee--> thanks for being concerning. i know u r trying to understand but at times i juz felt like it is enuf for u to kno of my probs coz u r full with ur own probs urself [family, business, money, work, friends, girlfriends, ex-s, myself) hhmmm... sometimes juz wondering whether is it possible for me to wake up the next day without being heavily bocked down on my brain. sakit la kepala i ni. if it involves analytical or subjective my right side of brain is the correct part. involving figures and figures will be left side. so at work will be more on left but on right will be on other matters.
already had my dinner that is quite late la. around 10am. going to bed soon. i'm pretty sleepy.

feelings

every one has their own problems. i mean everybody. u know la. yesterday was a very tak tahan situation for me. with conditions at home. everybody who is listening wil say i understand [that doesn't exclude me] but infact is they dont really understand every one's problems but should also say thankful wat wat they have actually said. for being caring.
even yesterday i rasa cam i ni make a lot of troubles to my fiancee. when i told him that sorry for burdening u, he'll be mad at me tapi tu ape yg i rasa. ntah la.. when it involves feelings macam2 ade. mmg rasa wanna be alone i repeat WANNA BE ALONE tu very high. tapi nnt selalu kena marah ngan my fiancee. wat for? wat for? hhmm... aisshh..dah la it's not good to sighing all the way coz it means that you are not thankful of wat God has given us. we should thankful of wat we have regardless of wat we got. it is juz how me managed n handle things. fiancee juz called told me to go for my lunch. i dunno wat to eat. i have no mood actually. so how? i have to fight this emotional. anyway, i got some better topics to be posted for this month as i started my may month with mood of happiness. will update later when i'm at home. coz i got some cool pics to share as well. yoohoo! and another syiok thing is my countdown.. hehehe.. today left like 94 days b4 my marriage. yoohoo! takut, nervous, happy, excited, happy, syok....bak kata astro macam-macam ada. hahaha.... jap lagi nak call orang tanya pasal kompang. maybe my ex-classmate kot. oklah chiow miow!

- mutual feelings is when you have the understanding between 2 lovers without the necessary to explain it all-