for my dearest dear

last saturday i was pissed off so madly coz he lied to me. but when he spoke and explain wat is he going thru and how the things happenned.. he's stuck. stuck with numerous questions in his head. stuck with full mode of revenging. stuck with the regretted feelings as well as hates. he cried and tears were seen flowing down from his eyes. he is so sad at that time. my feelings that time is so undescribable. i dont like seeing him crying in front of me. if he were to cry than if it is for good things i wouldnt mind. i hugged and kissed him. telling him i love him so much. i wiped away his tears and i remembered how he cried that nite and from the moment on..i kept saying to myself to take care of myself, my pride & dignity. i've told him that i've changed. i want to built my life with him. that is my promise. i myself cried of wat i did attacking his heart and mind and damaging the plant of love that we have built for many years. yes truely i have learnt my lesson here. no messing around with heart, respects and appreciations is so much needed in relationship. i was lucky and happy to have him with me in second chance and we grabbed this chance by engaging a year ago. in few days time, we will be getting married to each other. wow! i cant imagine how's the feelings but it is so sweet and happy.
faiz--> the first time i met him i wasnt really sure whether is he going to like me or not coz i have mentioned in my emails if you dont like me anymore then dont email me after we seeing each other. well, he did emailed. in fact on our first date he kept quite for most of the time. he is nervous and i can tell when i wanted to hold his hand. they are sweaty. but that doesnt bother me. i started to like him everyday and each day. trying to get to know him better. whenever we argued on sumthing, i will say that i dont want to talk to him. dont want to sms him. dont want to see his face. but when i do that i cant. his face keep on appearing in my mind. his smile is so sweet eventhough he is the serious looking guy and he is so manja. n that makes me love him so much. he is full of surprises. sumtimes i do feel like eh whenever he is with frens he'll be so friendly and talk a lot but when he is with me he'll be quite. when i asked he'll say that is the real me. i'm comfortable with my partner and when i'm with her i wil rest.
to you my dearest fiance, i dedicate my life fully for u and our future children. please guide me thru the right path with God's blessings. insya-Allah i wil also take care myself juz for u. love u so much. n nothing can describe you.