friday

wasn't feeling that right when i woke up this morning. guess so i salah tido semalam so sakit leher sket. then terus naik kat kepala. rasa dizzy when i drove to work this morning. ingat nak mc je pastu pk takpela. i'm fine. takyah amik mc. smp ofis lmbt sket sbb jam. pastu waited for like 30min b4 i went to see the doctor. waited for ard 30min coz there were 3 person b4 me then it's only my turn. i told the doctor bout wat i felt. then he juz explain that actually our nerve kat leher cam bentuk layang-layang. so if sakit kat leher boleh naik atas to kepala or turun sampai pinggang. like my case die naik sampai kepala. that's y rasa pening. ade la sket nak muntah this morning. doctor gave me ubat muscle rest, pain killer and ubat sapu. i took the ubat muscle rest already this morning. then rs kurang sket. so rsnye blh la stay smp petang. by the way friday rest lama sket. smp kul 2.30pm. pastu roughly dlm 3 hours lagi then balik. my colleague said balik awal la today. i baru balik from lunch ni. makan nasi goreng cina and telur mata kerbau. same as last nite's menu. hehe..

this morning kan. lepas balik from clinic. i terkejut giler nye sbb the cash flow of my co. showed a negative balance. bukannye 1000 2000 tapi 7mil. i was like WHAAAATTTTT??!!??? i overlooked on the autosweeping. so damn terkejut. lucky my colleague noticed it earlier so we found a solution to settle it. then, i cam alamak! camne nak explain kat boss i ni. with the courage yg ade plus i yg pening2 sket and my fren yg takut jgk we went to his room. explained to him bout the situation and the solution. so he said ok. fuhh! tapi just take note and bear in mind on this thing. not to repeat on it. lps kuar je from his room, mule la kelam kabut. call sane call sini gi meeting room sbb ceo meeting gi tmpt akma cari docs. at last by 1145am dh dpt sumer signature. trus faxed. call bank then settle. alhamdulillah. pastu called him coz he called me earlier. tapi i tak sempat nak angkat. dah rasa lega sket. pastu baru tetibe rasa sakit dtg balik. tapi i boleh handle. juz rasa nak baring n sleep je la. rest. maybe ptg karang balik from ofis, pack barang then trus drive home. this is my plan --> mandi, pray, dinner, tgk buku sket then tido. coz tomoro i ade clas. last week i tak pegi sbb gi repair keta.

semalam i nangis nangis nangis. cried kaw-kaw. can't handle the situation. lps pray i recite my doa to God. then, i cerita semua things yang happened in my life in my prayer. pasal mum, work, studies and bout my love life. semua nye. same as the sub-header of my blog. i doa cakap tabahkan hati i ni. then i nangis. nangis yang senangis nangis nye. i completed satu helai of quran then i stopped. he knew and he saw. then i said later later. when i'm done he called me and asked bout it again. nangis lagi. he wanted to know. i ckp la. pastu i told him bout the feelings i had. rasa syak wasangka yang ntah pape ntah, rasa jealousy yg so tebal, rasa curiousity yg ntah pape ntah. i tau he loves me so much. i want him to love me til end of his life. even if he is no longer in the world. i tak nak share his love n life with anyone. even his time, his thoughts, his everything. tapi that doesn't make sense. he has to go to job. he has to go out and see ppl to earn $$. then bile i pk ye la.. tak call i. tak sms i. tak sayang i. fine! hhmm.... jahat sungguh feelings ni. tapi on top of all yang mmg each couple akan face is about other WOMAN or LADIES. sometimes bile pk.. boleh jd ok n at times bile pk bnyk2 more jealous n jealous n jealous. then itu antara sbb i nangis.

Ya-Allah. give me courage to go through this.